The Orchid Garden

Grrrr…..

Question:

ROFLMAO! Yup! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Alynne, I don’t understand your problem…..my Orchids grow like weeds.  They don’t require any work.  All I do is water them for 4-5 hours once a week, fertilize them every other week, spray for mealie bugs, repot them once a year for about a month of my time, carry them outdoors in the spring and spray and carry them back indoors in October, change the lights every year, spend hours reading about the plants, attend monthly orchid society meetings to learn more, read Orchids Magazine every month, stop at every orchid I see for sale to see if I can learn something more, plan my vacations around places where there are orchid growers to visit……and in my spare time…..I clean pots, stop and get more medium. They are no fuss….I only have about 400 pots going at any time…up from about 300 this time last year. They are weeds….. Good growing, Gene

Response:

Oh,lordy!  I earned that card some time ago! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – A couple things come to mind: "Yes, those are the easy ones." "Plastic ones don’t count." Open your wallet and show them your official orchidaholics membership card and say, "Yes, but you only get *this* after your 100th confirmed kill. Give me your address.  I’ll send you the official paperwork so you can start keeping a more accurate account." What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing. Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

good one, Marla!  very smug.  I like that!  <G – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’d ask to see pictures of theirs   Marla

Response:

hmmm, good thinking!   – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Try this: "Oh, dahling, you are soooo right!  How many do you have?  Probably more than my puny little collection of 7, 285, or is it 7, 286?  I can NEVER keep track……  And just the other day, I noticed that my Castellorumcycliumsporits has these simply GORGEOUS purple blooms with yellow and pink stripes, and I think the Encyclodendropolus is about to bloom as well…..  And what kind of orchids DO you grow, Dear?" Make sure you put the emPHASIS on the right sylABLE. <VBG Yours in combat, Diana

Response:

The Church Lady   "Well isn’t that special"!!!  Cause you could always try "Bugger off"!!! Spartacus

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing. Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

Okay, Stephen, do we have a second (or is it third) split personality on this list???!! Reka Stephen schrieb: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The Church Lady   "Well isn’t that special"!!!  Cause you could always try "Bugger off"!!! Spartacus What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing. Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

I submit to you all that orchids are easy to grow.  At least from my perspective since they are th only thing I can grow.  This summer the following plants sitting next to my orchids were eaten to death: all of my tomato plants, basil, marjoram, thyme, and sage.  Cause of death (a combination of whiteflies, aphids, spidermites and lace bugs) repeated applications of Neem oil and Safers had no effect.  I also killed 2 African violets, 1 Venus fly trap, 1 snake plant, and 1 Pothos for no apparent reason.  Total orchid death 2/108 (both new plants with fast moving infections).  Can you imagine how low my self-esteem is around people with houses and gardens full of non-orchid plants? TZ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – A couple things come to mind: "Yes, those *are* the easy ones." "Plastic ones don’t count." Open your wallet and show them your official orchidaholics membership card and say, "Yes, but you only get *this* after your 100th confirmed kill. Give me your address.  I’ll send you the official paperwork so you can start keeping a more accurate account." What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing. Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

Well!   I seemed to have touched a nerve, there!  Guess there are more of those *&^%$ people around that I had previously thought. thanks for the laughs and the suggestions, everybody.  I guess I liked the Church Lady’s comment the best!   ROFL! (laughed so hard, I snorted!–oh well, never mind!) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Okay, Stephen, do we have a second (or is it third) split personality on this list???!! Reka Stephen schrieb: The Church Lady   "Well isn’t that special"!!!  Cause you could always try "Bugger off"!!! Spartacus What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing. Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing.   Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

I’d ask to see pictures of theirs   Marla – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing. Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

Guilty – but only to the non growers. That is how I got into orchids to start with. I can kill houseplants faster than anything. Thankfully most (commonly grown) orchids come from areas with wet/dry cycles. If I forgot to water on schedule they lived to tell  me about it by not blooming. I then have to admit to automating what I can and having grown to a gh, that is most watering. The best come back is – Show us the pictures of your flowers. Good assumption – she does not have any. SuE – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing. Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

Try this: "Oh, dahling, you are soooo right!  How many do you have?  Probably more than my puny little collection of 7, 285, or is it 7, 286?  I can NEVER keep track……  And just the other day, I noticed that my Castellorumcycliumsporits has these simply GORGEOUS purple blooms with yellow and pink stripes, and I think the Encyclodendropolus is about to bloom as well…..  And what kind of orchids DO you grow, Dear?" Make sure you put the emPHASIS on the right sylABLE. <VBG Yours in combat, Diana

Response:

Alynne, I don’t understand your problem…..my Orchids grow like weeds.  They don’t require any work.  All I do is water them for 4-5 hours once a week, fertilize them every other week, spray for mealie bugs, repot them once a year for about a month of my time, carry them outdoors in the spring and spray and carry them back indoors in October, change the lights every year, spend hours reading about the plants, attend monthly orchid society meetings to learn more, read Orchids Magazine every month, stop at every orchid I see for sale to see if I can learn something more, plan my vacations around places where there are orchid growers to visit……and in my spare time…..I clean pots, stop and get more medium. They are no fuss….I only have about 400 pots going at any time…up from about 300 this time last year. They are weeds….. Good growing, Gene

Response:

Hi Alynne,      It would be my first thought that orchids that grow like weeds probably look like them, too.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing. Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

Ohmigod, Diana, this had me really rotfl! Reka Diana Kulaga schrieb: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Try this: "Oh, dahling, you are soooo right!  How many do you have?  Probably more than my puny little collection of 7, 285, or is it 7, 286?  I can NEVER keep track……  And just the other day, I noticed that my Castellorumcycliumsporits has these simply GORGEOUS purple blooms with yellow and pink stripes, and I think the Encyclodendropolus is about to bloom as well…..  And what kind of orchids DO you grow, Dear?" Make sure you put the emPHASIS on the right sylABLE. <VBG Yours in combat, Diana

Response:

Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Well, my favorite rude comeback to that sort of remark is to simply say in a syrupy voice "How nice for you!(?)"  It has the advantage that there really isn’t even halfway intelligent they can say after that, assuming the person is smart enough to get it.  If they’re not, you have the satisfaction of realizing you’re talking to a complete idiot who you can more or less completely ignore from that point on. Michael

Response:

A couple things come to mind: "Yes, those are the easy ones." "Plastic ones don’t count." Open your wallet and show them your official orchidaholics membership card and say, "Yes, but you only get *this* after your 100th confirmed kill. Give me your address.  I’ll send you the official paperwork so you can start keeping a more accurate account."

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing. Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

A couple things come to mind: "Yes, those *are* the easy ones." "Plastic ones don’t count." Open your wallet and show them your official orchidaholics membership card and say, "Yes, but you only get *this* after your 100th confirmed kill. Give me your address.  I’ll send you the official paperwork so you can start keeping a more accurate account."

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – What do you do when someone sweetly says, "Oh, there’s nothing to growing orchids.  All mine are thriving and blooming like crazy.  I don’t do anything to them.  I can’t understand what all the fuss is about."  Or this kicker:  "Oh, they grow like weeds." (This is usually someone with two plants or so). Someone said this to me the other day, as I was showing off pics of my blooms at work.  I was on good behavior for once and just grinned and said nothing. Tell me, orchidaholics, what would YOU have said?  <G

Response:

Filed under: Growing Orchids

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